I know the battles of chasing the shadows of who you wanna be
It doesn't matter, go on and shatter
I'm all you need
Broken pieces, break into me
So imperfectly what you should be
Lay here, it's safe here, I'll let you be broken open
Hide here, confide here so we can be broken open
-Broken Open; Adam Lambert
I thought my days of makings sets like this was over..but obviously not, and this is really for anyone to read..but for my own self therapy. I came here 4 years ago, but didn't start meeting people until my 1 year mark, and since then, I've made some awesome friends, like @paigegomez who has stuck by my side throughout it all, even though there was a point in time where we didn't like each other, but we put our big girl pants on and created a beautiful friendship. I've met some great people, but I've also endured more heartbreak that I could even think to bear. I've made mistakes, I've spoken badly and harshly about others, I've bullied, I've been bullied, I've received harsh criticism for things I didn't even do but people said I've done. I've been talked about, I've been lied about, cheated on, you name it, its probably happened to me. I've fallen in and out of love more times than I could even count. I've been abused but through it all, tried so hard not to become the victim. I've been the quiet mouse of a friend who just sits in the corner and makes sure everyone is okay. I've been called every name in the book from beautiful to a downright c.unt. With that being said, some friendships that I used to hold, and still hold, dearly to my heart have been ruined, destroyed, and no longer exist why others have bloomed and blossomed. However, all of these things that have happened, somehow have managed to become everyone's business..and all I'm asking is for it to stop..Stop sending me questions on my asks that I refuse to answer, and refuse to pay attention to. No, I don't hate anyone, no I don't despise anyone, no I don't want to kill or hurt anyone physically. God places people in and out of your life for ever reason, and as humans, we shouldn't try to understand why he does what he does, because in reality we will never know. I don't wish badly upon anyone, yes, I've gotten angry and yes I've said things I shouldn't have. I sincerely apologize, publicly for any and every word, rumor, and thing that has been said. My past relationships, my current relationships, my friendships, my hook-ups are no ones business between me and the person in question. People take this site a little bit too seriously, and have taken something that was supposed to be fun, and turned into a real life drama, and it shouldn't be that way. The people behind these photos, and sets are still that, people. They have emotions, they have feelings, they hurt, they cry, they laugh, they bleed. That being said, I refuse to cry anymore. I refuse to be angry about things that are out of my control. I accept the love, and the power, and the happiness, and the memories that have happened and will continue to come.
Finally, for once in my life I'm okay, my heart doesn't hurt or feel heavy, I feel free. So please, can everyone just let me, for one summer, be just that? Happy?
@vienna, @jared-morello, @callista, @daltonmatthew, @jamescoontz, and @michaelparelli
You all including Paige, have made my time here absolutely unforgettable. Weither we've known each other for only a few short months, or a few years, you've filled and continue to fill my life and my heart with so much love and understanding, I didn't think that would have been possible to care about someone so much, knowing we'll never meet each other. I cherish your friendship, the memories, the laughs, the silliness, the fights, everything, that we have created. There is no one like you guys, and I feel honored to have you all in my life. I know I'm not an easy person to deal with, I can be boring, I can be highly confusing, and I can be a bit of a pushover, and you guys have still supported me, and loved me. I don't say it enough, but I love you guys ♥